no one really asked- but then one day, maybe march , he said
you were sick before you came here,
and he didnt ask me
and didnt ask me to say more but i knew
he knew everything and he said no one knew me like he has known me ; i said will i stay and he laughed at me ,youre already here,
if i stayed i wouldnt get dizzy again. and everything would be safe, and id see what he sees what everyone sees and id sleep for a very long time
i could have decided right then to stay and be saved,
for medicine , and -
but long days ago maybe a year i had decided to stay
for him
i didnt remember giving sick i dont remeber getting i dont remember having i said jacob what happened to me jacob what happened to you
"all ceased and i abandoned myself"
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